We have been lucky as parents to have had a pretty smooth first year with Hannah. However, there are still a lot of decisions and choices we make on how to care for her. We try to choose what is best for her AND for us as a family, but no matter how many books you read or people you talk to you, there's always this feeling for me as a mom, saying "have I done enough?", "am I doing this the RIGHT way?" . As a people pleaser by nature, which I am slowly letting go of, I want others to see me or us as parents and say "they are doing a good job". I want our decisions to agree with others, but that's just not how it works. What works for our family doesn't necessarily work for the family across the street. It doesn't mean either of us are wrong, it just means we're different. So with that being said, I have realized the importance for encouragement. Instead of feeling threatened by someone doing something a different way, I should say hey you're doing a great job as a mother and not compare. Yes, we put Hannnah to bed at 7 most nights, we have a daily routine, we limit her sugar, and we don't buy her lots of toys, but that is our preference and 95% percent of the time she has a happy and content temperament and we are happy as a family and that's what matters. So the next time someone compliments us as parents at church or in public, I plan to take those words to heart instead of focusing on the other things that may come our way. I will see the good in other moms although they may do things differently, and give them a sweet word of encouragement. What it comes down to, is we're all trying to do the best for our child and family, and if our intentions are good then that's all that matters.
The reason I brought all this up is after spending last weekend with mom and dad, mom sent me a sweet detailed email saying how happy she sees that Hannah is with Matt and I and that we are doing a great job as parents. I've heard her say it many times before, but to read those words just meant so much when I was having a day of doubts. So the next time you see a mom, whether you know her or not, whether she seems to have it together or not, just offer a simple word of encouragement. I'm sure it will mean the world to her!
Here are two posts I also read last week that go along with this same idea. I hope you mamas can find encouragement in this!
http://www.chattingatthesky.com/2010/06/21/dear-me-in-20-years/
http://myblessedlife.net/2010/06/what-i-needed-to-know-when-my-son-was-one.html
3 comments:
I love this post & totally agree! I think one of the things I hunger to hear is affirmation that I'm doing a good job, even if we have chosen to do things "differently." Or, even if we have chosen to do things "mainstream" (like give her cookies every now and then!--ha!).
Thanks for posting this.
And I LOVED the chatting at the sky post, too!
Linds - I think you are doing a great job! It's obvious the Lord has crafted you with such a sweet and nurturing spirit, which makes for a great Mom! When you are down and seeking encouragement and affirmation from the world, just remember that your responsibility as a Christian mother is to raise Hannah in such a way that she knows and sees the Lord, seeing the Gospel worked out in your family. God is your audience, the one your parenting should please, and the one who gives peace and affirmation. Love Hannah in the abundant and steadfast way the Father has loved us, as he is the perfect example of how to raise up a child in the way she should go!
Granted, I have no idea how that will flesh itself out in the tiny details of everyday life, but I trust that the One who has given us everything pertaining to life and Godliness can give us everything pertaining to parenthood as well :)
Love you friend, and sorry about the novel!
a big 6 thumbs up from me, Brent and Natalie :)
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